CHRIS HEPBURN

I WANT ONLY ONE THING IN THIS WORLD AND THAT IS FOR THAT EVIL TOXIC ABOMINATION ELIZABETH GRACEN TO ROT IN JAIL I HAVE NOT KNOWN A SINGLE DAY OF HAPPINESS SINCE NOV 8 TH 2002 DUE TO GRACEN AND FOR 2 YEARS I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP UNDER BRIDGES IN PARIS AS THAT DESPICABLE ABOMINATION ELIZABETH GRACEN SPENT MY MONEY.

                                       EMAIL CHRIS@CHRISHEPBURN.COM

                                       VOICEMAIL NYC 212 252 2072

I took most of this site down few week's ago as I was getting insults from vile kids from redneck state's what a terrible indicator of the world we live in that the youth of today are not outraged at what that toxic scum Elizabeth Gracen has done.

I am getting emails from the Iowa Chapter of The Vienna Circle (SIC).

They tell me I am screwed up.

No Shit.

Would you not also be screwed up if you spent 2 years crying yourself to sleep under bridges due to the action's of the person you thought you would grow old with.

I have searched my soul for years and asked myself why I thought I loved Gracen I have no answers.

I will be 45 in a few weeks their was a time when I used to wonder what Gracen had planned for me for my 40th.

Gracen had a jail cell planned for me for my 40th and I talk about that later.

I wish I could have just one happy day I have not known a single day of happiness since Nov 8 th 2002 due to Gracen.

I wish I could have a happy 45 th Bday I would like a Lewis Carrol "Drink Me "moment and that potion would take me back to my NYC 1997 but I will be looking at the walls and weeping for my Bday as Gracen spends my money.

Gracen is no great actress and it only ever had one part with more than 3 lines and Clinton got it that part as he once raped it and he wanted to keep it quiet however it has not even done bit part's in the last 8 years it has been living off my money.

Gracen did not just steal from me but from a charity I tried to set up in my late daughter's name.

I would expect moral outrage at what Gracen has done as children in the 3 rd world have died due to Gracen stealing monies that should have provided food and meds for them however nobody cares people are to busy consuming.

I am so very ill I think of a woman from Idaho I asked her to help me to heal and for years she has messed with my head I want to know how she can be so vile and cruel but I never will.

I carried a torch for her for years I knew I could never have her as she is married but she could have given me her shoulder to cry on a cross between a big sister and Portia.

I just checked the date everything I did between March 29 th 1989 and Xmas Day 2005 was a substitute as I could not run away with her and make little people and live happy ever after in a metaphoric Monet painting.

She knows I would have been there for her.

She or rather a decent version of her is what I wanted in this world not money or fame I just wish I knew how she can be so cold and cruel.

I will try and offer a linear synopsis in a chronological order of the perfidy of that evil woman Elizabeth Gracen.

However I have not known a day of happiness since Nov 8 th 2002 due to Gracen and I am so very ill if You want DSM drivel I am dealing with PTSD but that word is a misnomer it means nothing I am totally and utterly shell shocked.

I long for death and a release from all the pain and suffering that Gracen has caused me I also long to sit in a court of law and see Gracen go to jail.

Simon Wiesenthal would understand the concept of justice his soul craved it he would also understand the Yiddish.

"Der Emes Ken Arumgeyn A Naketer Dem Lign Darf Men Bakleydn"

I also crave justice and only have one dream in this world and that dream is knowing that Gracen is in pain in a jail cell.

Knowing Gracen is in jail is the catharsis my soul craves however I can never be the man I was before that scum Elizabeth Gracen raped my soul as I have a cancer upon my soul and that cancer is called Elizabeth Gracen. 

I once thought evil was my soul mate and that is the only word for Gracen evil and nobody can ever tell me why I thought evil was my soul mate.

I need to go back to 1997 I was in the back of a cab charging down The Van Wyck leaving NYC to move to Paris to work upon a great gothic novel I was going to walk in the footstep's of the French Ancients the great writer's that France gave the world.

I was leaving NYC The Center Of The Known Universe behind me NYC was my friend lover and teacher but I needed the old world to create.

Paris was amazing everything was an adventure I would find happiness everywhere and the walls in Paris would enkindle my pen my novel was good very good I was up to about 40 pages a tale about a Vampire that interacted with real historical figures.

The happiness was not to last I was almost a walking cliche I wanted love in Paris not sex one can fuck in Hobokken but in Paris it should be love Debussy should waft up from The Place Vendome to The Coco Chanel suite as one quotes Boileau-Despreaux to their lover.

I had quite a few people to jump into bed with but my soul wanted so much more my soul wanted a woman from Idaho but that is another story I will get to later.

I was about to make the 2nd worst mistake of my life and that mistake was called Audrey Poetker a hobby writer from Manitoba in Canada.

Poetker needed to be rescued I was in Paris  I read to much Dumas as a child and Monsieur De Treville would have approved.

I bought into Poetker's gold digger speil it was to cost my daughter her life it was to cost my friend's 3.2 mil US and it cost me 4 years of my life  as I wandered the world in this Homeresque like quest to find my daughter

Their was no daughter Poetker starved her to death in her womb when I could not crap 100 bills and give them to her.

Poetker was sexually abused by her father and all men on the planet had to pay for that.

Sexual  abuse is rife in Mennonite society and Mennonitism is a theological abomination thrust upon an uneducated people by an ex communicated Dutch priest in the 16 century.

Poetker was a nightmare and the reason I do not have a friend in the world today as I lost them all as I was drunk between 98 and 02 this drunken fugue wanting nothing in this world but my daughter Anastasia Paris.

Their was no little girl Anastasia Paris the little girl that never was murdered by her own mother.

If my daughter had lived she would have been 11 now but in my mind she has always been 4 or 5 and is very precocious in this enchanting way.

Their is not a day that goes by when I do not think of my daughter I tried to set up a charity in her name and it was that charity that thing Elizabeth Gracen stole millions from.

I long for death and a release from the pain that Gracen has caused me and yet at the same time all that has kept me alive is my hatred of Gracen and a dream of seeing it go to jail.

It is 2010 just looking at the date seems wrong as if it is not real it cannot be 2010 I want back all the years that scum Elizabeth Gracen has taken from me I cannot have them back they are gone forever.

Well is such a subjective term I can never ever heal from what Gracen has done to me however to achieve a little peace in my soul all I needed was kindness and decency and all I have found is a level of perversity that even Kafka could not have penned.

Their is a place I need to be in this world and it would to a certain extent give me peace of mind being there.

I have tried to get there for years and their is a woman in this world I once wanted more than anything the Poetker and Gracen things were  substitutes as I could not have her I would no longer want her but the first time I ever saw her I was sitting a few tables away from her at an award function I wanted her and I to mount a horse with wings next stop Paris and happy ever after living in a metaphoric Monet painting.

I knew I could never do that as she was married but she could have shown me kindness  and helped me to get well for her funding me to get to the place I need to go to get well is like a nickel to most people.

I want to know how she can be so cruel and perverse but I never will I am so utterly overwhelmed with this woman's cruelty.

She is messed up involved with a cult in LA and married to a guy 20 years younger than her a Dorian Gray thing it makes you feel young I did the same in my late 30's dating women in their 20's it made me feel young but it does not work .

Few common points of reference I remember saying to somebody do you remember "Parallel Lines" what a great album the person I said that to was not even born when Debbie Harry was looking so hot the EPA had her on speed dial.

Yes this woman I asked to help me is messed up join the club but I cannot get my head round how she can be so perverse and cruel a stranger would give me a nickel and yet this woman has not just refused me a nickel but has messed with my head for years.

I cannot understand how she can be so cruel and perverse and I never will.

When she is old and gray and her husband has left her for a younger model and she is walking down the stair's saying

" I Am Ready For My Close Up Mr De Milne"

She will wonder why she was so cruel to me and that will be so sad.

I think of all these years of hell and the living death that Gracen has caused me and I have learned only one thing and that is 99 percent of the human race is no good.

Gracen is no great actress it is from this school of acting.

"Oh My god Like I think I Have A Pretty Face Like I Think I will Become An Actress Like"

Gracen's claim to fame is that it shared a bed with the ex Rapist In Chief Bill Clinton to obtain a Miss Arkansas Crown in worked this way the Governor picked the girl he liked and if the girl provided sexual favors she got the crown Gracen shared a bed with Clinton when he was the chief rapist in Arkansas to obtain a Miss Arkansas crown and Gracen is still sharing a bed with Clinton now and he protects it from prosecution.

I have also been abused and violated by the US Dept Of State for years and that is Clinton's doing at Gracen's request that vile woman Hilliary Clinton does not care where her redneck husband puts his putrid genitals she is obsessed with power and the current president is not very bright after all who with any intellect would make Hilliary Clinton The Sectary Of State it is like a Nazi running a mikvah.

Their is only one word to describe how the State Dept has treated me and that word is evil.

The way I have been treated by the US Gov is perverse and that perversion goes all the way to 1600 I would like to be deluded but I am not for if I was deluded humanity would not be as perverse and cruel as it truly is.

I will say something here before I move on Rupert Murdoch a vile disgusting man that has no goodness or honor in his soul that has spent his life taking from the planet.

I am an atheist however let us say  I am wrong and their is a god and god was to say to Murdoch what did you give to the world the reply would be nothing if his reply was to be truthful what could it be but

"I raped the planet and propagated mindless drivel to convince moron's to buy crap they do not need"

Well the gospel according to Murdoch I am only one step down from a war criminal I have used 6 names more like 15 names this has not been to facilitate criminal enterprise but as an attempt to stay off the radar I was a journalist and stage actor I did not want to be known.

That is in stark contrast to the mindless talentless dross from reality TV that want their Warholian 15 mins.

Murdoch also told the world in his rags that I worked for British Intelligence what drivel in my 20's It was a line I used to get laid nothing more.

I committed no crime in Canada and I never knew Canada had such places as Manitoba a vile racist vulgar corrupt hick  province.

I also committed no crime in Australia what a disgusting nation Australia is the most vulgar nation on the planet and most Australian's embrace vulgarity as an art form.

I spent close to 2.5 years in a jail cell as an innocent man due to Gracen getting into Clinton's ear can anybody wonder why I hate Gracen?.

Years of my life Gracen stole from me not just my money but my sense of self.

I am so very tired I just want to go to sleep and never ever wake up I know how truly perverse and self obsessed most of the human race is.

Their was only one thing I wanted in this world and it was not money of fame but this woman from Idaho I want to know why she is so cruel and perverse but I will never ever know that and that makes me want to weep and never stop she could have helped me to heal and it would have been like a nickel to her.

I spent  2 years crying myself to sleep under bridges in Paris due to Gracen sleeping in doorways at times soaked to the skin other times pulling lice from myself at other times I would even piss in my pants as I could not be bothered getting up from where I begged and I would say the name of this woman from Idaho in my head over and over almost like a magical incantation if I said it enough times she would be a good and decent person and come to my aid but she never ever did all she ever did was to mess with my head and I will never ever know why she is so cruel and that makes me want to weep and never stop I cannot understand how she can be so ugly on the inside.

It is early I just woke up awful night's sleep I have not had a decent night's sleep since Nov 8 th 2002 due to Gracen and I have been crying in bed for the last hour I have been crying that I am still alive and crying that I have another day of hell to face.

I do not not want to be alive any more and long for death as a release from all the pain and suffering that Gracen has caused me I am not scared to end my life but their have been times when I have come close but the thought of Gracen's laughter at the news of my death stopped me.

All I want in this world is justice and Gracen behind bars.

I take oath upon my late daughter's soul if I had 2 choices all the money in the world or Gracen in jail I would have Gracen in jail.

All the money in the world cannot fix what Gracen has destroyed within me.

I met 2 nice guys a few days ago they are member's of the 1% club a club that is comprised of the 1% of decent people on this planet.

They went to a museum today and invited me a part of me would have liked to have gone but I do not even have the $12 it costs to get in I cannot even afford to get into a museum and somewhere in this world Gracen is spending my money.

The people I have met are such nice people and one of them tells me to forget the woman from Idaho if only I could I want to know why she is no good I will never know why she is no good if I had a life maybe I would think about her less and less but I do not have a life I am a writer and classical stage actor with 2 degree's and yet all I do is look at the walls and weep.

Between Clinton and a producer of celluloid vomit in LA they have made sure every door on the planet is closed to me for years I have been waiting for one person on the planet to scream what has been done to Chris is perverse and to come running to my aid but it has never happened and it will never happen.

I have searched the planet for kindness and only found perversity.

I think of The Dept Of State they make my skin crawl they are bullies vile perverse bullies that is the only word for them.

Justice is little better this Xmas Eve just gone I got an email from The FBI from an agent in DC saying that Gracen is under investigation and would I meet with a couple of agent's

I would don a tutu and sing show tunes to J Edgar Hoover if it would help me find justice.

It was nothing just a stupid head game The FBI were not getting drunk at their Xmas party and pulled my name out of a database and decided to mess with my head.

It was a sick game that Clinton was behind.

I have said this before to quite a few people I wish their were 2 tablet's the first one would make me forget that vile evil woman Elizabeth Gracen and the 2 nd pill would make me a moron then I could either get a job in Macdonald's or do reality TV and be happy.

One day of happiness just one I cannot even have that I want just one happy day and one decent night's sleep I have not had either of those things since Nov 8 th 2002 due to Gracen.

I can still remember the first time I ever had the misfortune to set eyes upon Gracen it had a bit part in this show that Stephen Canell produced most of LA was having a giggle Canell wants to act that is scary.

I went to see a buddy that was working on the show and noticed Gracen I asked a friend to make some call's for me the woman that made the call's for me knew everybody in the industry she is not the kind of woman to bad mouth anybody but she calls a spade a spade.

A few days later she called me and said.

" Gracen would screw Lassie for a bit part"

If only I had listened my life would not be a living death.

Nothing can fix what Gracen has destroyed within me if Brad The Pitt's knocked on my door and offered me 20 mil to do a flick with him firstly it would mean nothing and secondly I have added to Wc Field's quote to include asshole's.

I wandered the planet for years looking for my daughter in 2000 I was in Amsterdam even then I could not get it into my head that Gracen was no good it spiked my drink with DMT that is an hallucinogenic trptamine with effect's not unlike LSD but it is shorter lasting.

They are not drug's that should be fooled around with even Dr Timmy was not running around spiking people's drinks.

I had a nervous breakdown of some kind and opened my wrist's thinking if I am wrong and their is a god I will be in heaven with my daughter.

I made excuses for Gracen I said to myself Gracen knows nothing of the pharmacology of such drugs it graduated from a community collage on the wrong side of The Mason Dixon as a certified public accountant.

As my wrist's were being stiched up due to Gracen spiking my drink I was telling myself it was not Gracen's fault as it is not an educated woman and it knows nothing about pharmacology.

All the years of hell due to Gracen and I accept that something was wrong with me for thinking I loved Gracen and I will never ever know what is wrong with my soul for thinking that.

The word is thrown around with such glibness by 2 bit writers from Toon Town but I will use the word in the clinical sense Gracen is a psychopath as defined in Hare's PCL-R.

A psychopath has a lack of empathy they take what they want and do as they please violating social norms without guilt of remorse.

That is Elizabeth Gracen.

When one thinks they are in love they do not conduct PCL-R tests or MRI the prefrontal cortex or amygdala looking for clues.

The charity I tried to set up in my late daughter's name the connection is easy to see my daughter was murdered starved to death in her mother's womb.

I wanted her name to live on in action's and in deeds to feed hungry children in the 3 rd world.

"The Anastasia Paris Foundation"

I wanted nothing to do with the money for 2 reason's firstly awful thing to have to do to decide who eats and who does not.

I hate to quote Canadian's however Leonard Cohen

"The bitch that goes down into every kitchen to decide who will eat and who will serve"

In essence the person running any charity has to make that call.

The second reason I wanted nothing to do with money is that I have been to jail I committed no crime however to Norman Rockwell's Middle America their is no such thing as an innocent man in jail and it could have caused us to loose funding.

Their is  a judge in DC and her finding's are Dickensian in depth I wanted to bring her on board to decide where the money went.

I see charity's and so many of them do not have a clue they run from the inept to the incompetent to the corrupt to the waste of space to the perverse.

Charity,s like Human Right's Watch and Amnesty International they are a waste of space that are staffed by fool's that sit in warm offices play with paper and write report's about the problem but do not do anything about the problem.

Then we have Christian Charity's they do not have a clue and are ran like church bake sales also money is wasted on Bible's I personally think it is a fairy tale and that man created god so that man would not feel so alone however logic would suggest even if their is a god  let's feed people before we worry about their soul's.

Then we have the incompetent people like Secour Catholique in Paris they wasted 40k buying 2 new truck's to drive coffee and sandwiches 3 miles to the homeless that 40k would have been better spent aiding the homeless.

Then we have the perverse like The Brother's Of Charity in Gent they lack any vestige of compassion but they have the audacity to call themselves christians.

Talking oft he incompetent a charity called Mind in the UK a little twee for my taste but part of their mission statement is they will not reply to rude email's.

What if somebody's illness causes them to author rude email's and what of the poor soul's dealing with Tourett's they will get no help from Mind.

We also have The ACLU what a waste of money the best thing that could be done to the ACLU is to but them in a spaceship and send them to another planet I will leave it at that just the thought of the ACLU makes me feel ill for personal reasons I do not want to go into at the moment suffice it to say the ACLU make my skin crawl.

The ACLU would be fighting city hall as a kitten is stuck up a tree at the same time that Ivan The Terrible is throwing boxes of babies off The Tappen Zee Zee Bridge.

Then we have the corrupt people like The Committee To Protect Journalist's and RSF they are vile perverse corrupt toxic people it goes without saying that journalist's have died in the 3 rd world due to the corruption of these org's.

We also have a vile and perverse medical charity that I will not mention by name as nobody would believe me that they are corrupt.

Their MD'S and Nursing staff in the 3 rd world are amazing but the people in head office arecorrupt scum.

They refused me medical treatment even Quack's and Galenist's would know that is wrong.

The charity I tried to set up in my late daughter's name only had 2 rules no priest's no babalorishas no bibles or chicken's and planes in the air in 48 hour's delivering aid to where ever the Judge decided the aid should go.

It never worked as Gracen stole million's that should have got the charity of the ground and the Judge turned out to be disgusting.

The idea for this charity goes back over 20 years a lot of us were sitting in The Del Mar this great hotel in San Diego and we were talking about Ken Kesey and The Merry Prankster's and using Kesey's game plan to get noticed have a ball and make million's for charity.

Most charity's do not have a clue when it comes to funding they are so bland.

"The Church Bake Sale Syndrome"

We also have vile celeb's that pretend to care for photo ops.

A couple of week's ago Cobweb Clooney raised a poxy 57 mil USD for Haiti then the asshole was no doubt sitting around waiting for a call from The Nobel Committee here is your Nobel Peace Prize Cobweb.

Cobweb Clooney earns 20 mil a flick if he gave the monies earned from 3 flicks that would be 60 mil.

Clooney's 57 mil telethon is like the guy from South of Tijuana that cleans Cobweb Clooney's pool as Clooney considers himself much to important to clean his own pool giving 500 to Haiti and then expecting a Nobel Peace Prize.

I knew Ken Kesey personally and I had his blessing to try and find funding for Charity using his Merry Prankster's game plan.

Ken Kesey was no cult Leader he was not L Ron Hubbard or Jim Jones or Phillip Berg or The Pope.

Ken Kesey wanted people to think but he never ever told them what to think.

Kesey was a gentleman in the true sense of the word and he had such an enchanting smile one that would stop a rhino at 100 paces.

If Gracen had not have stolen from my daughter's charity it would have worked and the children in the 3 rd world that my daughter's charity would have fed should have thanked Ken Kesey not me all I did was spin his game plan and bring it up to date.

Their was one other person that should have been thanked and that was Nicky Marotta from this wonderful low budget movie from the 80's that even got Herbert Berghof out of bed.

The movie was  called "Times Square" and to quote Nicky.

" I just know bullshit when I see it I am going to stay up here until they blow me away now they might be able to blow me away but they cannot blow all of you away"

In essence Nicky was asking people to work together.

I asked the same lets work together in ego free zone's to set up a bullshit free charity if people had worked together the charity would have been bigger than Elvis.

It is sunday night as I write this and I am in tears thinking of my living death not a single day of happiness since Nov 8 th 2002.

A song just came on Joan Baez Diamonds and Rust at one time I wanted to ask that woman from Idaho if the song worked for her at the moment I am in tears as I cannot get my head around how this woman can be so cruel and perverse getting me to the one place in this world that will give me a certain peace of mind is like 5 cent's to her.

She even lack's the decency to send an email saying sorry for messing with your head for years I cannot understand how she can be so cruel and perverse.

I no longer want to set up a charity and if any of the people I have reached out to over the years to help me and to help me to help others turned up and said lets get this charity on the road I would not want to know I could not be civil to any human being that can ignore another human being in pain.

I have been in pain since Nov 8 th 2002 due to Gracen and their are many people in this world with million's that know who I am and of the charity I tried to set up and not one of them could find the goodness in their heart to help me or to help me to help others.

I despise anybody that can ignore another human being in pain I once risked my life getting kids across the Adriatic that is not because I was some kind of great guy it is because it was the right thing to do.

I also used to suffer from a mental illness called caring for other people but that has been well and truly kicked out of me.

A one in a million chance I was to get my money back I would be a recluse in The Swiss Alps and would venture out once in a while to buy Cherry Coke and Smokes also to find milk maids called Heidi that can fuck and yoodle at the same time.

I want nothing to do with anything or anybody however in my heart of heart's I know the only way to heal is to die.

I am at what Kubler Ross called stage 5 acceptance.

It is a sad fact in this world that their are more morons on this planet than smart people that is not being elitist it is a simple statement of fact.

All anybody needs to do to confirm that is to watch the mindless reality TV drivel.

It is made by morons about morons to be watched by morons.

Another indicator that their are more morons than smart people in this world is the press their are more people that read either The NY Post or on the other side of the atlantic The Sun than the quality papers in the UK their are 3.5 million morons that read The Sun.

It is Murdoch,s the worst paper on the planet the journalists(SIC) have the intellectual acuity of 16 year old's and the readers have the intellectual acuity of 14 year old's.

I story boarded a TV show it was schlock mindless drivel for morons but it was my mindless drivel for morons and it had a purpose and that purpose was that 75% of sales from that show should have gone to my daughters charity to aid children in the 3 rd world.

I say again it was never money or fame I wanted in this world but a decent version of that woman from Idaho.

Their was a time I thought that if I kissed her once all the pain would have gone away if I had kissed her once in truth my lips would have melted she is toxic and I will never know why.

The show I pulled together was pure drivel but it was drivel that would have fed children in the 3 rd world.

It is 2.15 am I will climb into bed and weep now I have done that for years due to that scum Gracen as I am weeping Gracen is spending my money and I have another day of hell waiting for me tomorrow due to Gracen.

Another day of hell is upon me I should never ever have left NYC in 97 I walked past my old apartment on E72 nd in 2001 I was in tears I knew so much happiness in that apartment Always good and decent people in my life the phones were always ringing their were not enough hours in the day.

NYC just ask Frankie so good they named it twice NYC is not America it is the center of the known universe and the world is in NYC.

I want Chris Llloyd to turn up in a Deloren and take me back to 97 my NYC and never leave but in reality Deloren's do not travel in time and I have been exiled from the States by that vile cracker Bill Clinton.

I am a man of peace but I would give anything for a few min's with Clinton without his secret service detail the cracker would hurt.

I look at life and the worst thing is knowing I will never have a child I will never ever hear a child say Dad I want a pony and a bottle of Jack.

I do not know how to trust anymore I did not want a child with a woman I picked up in a bar I wanted a child with the woman I would grow old with that woman does not exist.

My TV show was drivel but as I said earlier it was drivel that should have fed children in the 3 rd world.

I asked Gracen to shop it around it never even entered my head that Gracen would keep everything at this time I though Gracen was my soul mate.

I wanted to see how Gracen could schmoze producer's in LA for the most part they are assholes with over inflated ego's that strut around like peacock's full of their own self importance.

The way they go on one would think they were somebody important like aid worker's in the 3 rd world.

Well Gracen sold my show to Mr Celluloid Vomit himself Jerry Bruckheimer.

My show The Amazing Race Bruckheimer knew it was mine when he bought it from Gracen he also knew that 75 % of sales from that show should have gone to children in the 3 rd world.

Bruckheimer produces drivel for the mindless that is not a crime however in effect Bruckheimer has stolen bread out of the mouths of children in the 3 rd world.

I have tried for years to find an attorney with the stones to file against Bruckheimer we could not loose a Downtown LA jury would relate to me more than they would relate to Bruckheimers legion of Loeb and Loeb Armarni clad  clones and the jury demographic works for me also.

Lot of Latino's on the jury the kind of people that have been abused for years in California by the Bruckheimer's of this world.

Public opinion would also be against Bruckheimer.

"Bruckheimer Stole Bread Out Of The Mouth' Of Children In The 3 Rd Would"

At the moment just want to burst into tears and never ever stop been thinking about that woman from Idaho cannot understand how she can be so cruel and perverse if she had been a good person and I had 2 choices 20 mil a flick without her or earning min wage working in a bodega and a 1 bed on 161 st and Bway in the BX  with her I would have taken the job in the Bodega and would have dodged bullet's on The Grand Concourse.

I want to know how this woman can be so vile and cruel she knows I would have fought dragons for her and that I could not have left her in pain for 1 min.

Helping me heal is like 5 cents to her.

Right now I just want to climb into bed and pull the covers over my head and never ever wake up I am so dead inside.

I need to change the subject let me talk of using Ken Kesey's The Merry Pranksters game plan to raise million's for hungry children in the 3 rd world.

This could not have failed if I had found decent people that could have worked together in ego free zones.

I could not do this now but I could have done it 10 years ago and that is climbing The Eifel Tower I am out of shape The Eifel Tower is not a hard climb from a technical point but it would be a tiring climb need to be in good shape to tackle it.

It would be possible for say 6 climbers to carry some kind of aluminium platform in back packs that we could assemble and attach to the top of the tower.

We would have a platform to sit on nobody will fall harness crabbed to the tower we would be safe there until we are old and gray.

Nobody could get us down We demand that Sarkozy brings us Pizza and that we are not coming down until Sarkozy brings us Pizza.

At the end of the day Sarkozy would bring us Pizza for 3 reasons he is a media whore and secondly he would know that we are trying to do good in this world and finally it would be fun.

When Sarkozy arrives we scream at him you forget the garlic bread and we want a bottle of D.R.C and sent him back for the bread and wine.

It would have gone global it would have been on every TV set on the planet we could have used the media to  feed children in the 3 rd world.

The Merry Pranksters The Next Generation.

It would not have been look at us it would have been listen to our message and our message would have been children are starving in the 3 rd world whilst the mindless consume.

Another one would have been the Mona Lisa disappears from the Louvre and a few days later turns up on the wall of The Met.

Think a Thomas Crown Affair kind of thing.

Leaving a note under the painting at the Met you can have this back it is such a drab painting.

"Lots Of Love The Merry Pranksters"

The media would have had a field day on every TV set on the planet and in every paper on the planet and we could have used that media attention to raise millions for hungry kids in the 3 rd world.

I say again it was never money or fame I wanted but a decent version of that woman from Idaho but I would have given up my anonymity at one time to feed children in the 3 rd world that is before I learned how perverse most of the human race is.

I am so dead inside all I want in this world is to see Gracen go to jail and that moment would live in my soul forever in 15 perf.

All that stops me from ending my life right now is a dream of seeing Gracen go to jail and yet if somebody shot me in the stomach and I was bleeding out my last words would be thank you for stopping the pain.

I tried to do good in this world at one time I was so deluded to think that good people could make the world a better place.

The Merry Pranksters Art Collective could have raised million's for hungry children think of this Andy Warhol was not an artist he was a smart guy but he was a publicist and he talked shit to get rich.

2 people in the UK at the moment Damien Hirst and a Tracy somebody they are not artist's they read a book on Warhol and thought this is a great way to make money they talk shit to get rich.

We need to use a technical word to describe their work "crap"

The Merry Prankster's Art Collective would also have talked shit but we would have talked shit to feed children in the 3 rd world.

Think of known celebs if Mustardseed Cruise had a Jackson Pollack moment that painting would sell for million's and that money could have been used to feed children in the 3 rd world.

That moron Jollie that pretends to care about the 3 rd world for photo ops if she was to put some paint on her implants and walk into a canvas then use some $3 words to talk of her great work of art it would raise millions for children in the 3 rd world.

I tried to do good in this world and for years all I have found are vile perverse people that have not just worked against me but a charity I tried to set up in my late daughter's name.

I no longer want to do good in this world that does not mean I want to do bad I want to do nothing if I had my money that Gracen stole I would be a recluse.

Sallinger had the right idea in the woods in the middle of NH I cannot get to NH due to that rapist redneck cracker Bill Clinton.

I am so dead inside all these years of hell due to that scum Gracen and who screamed what has been done to Chris is perverse who came running to my aid?.

NOBODY.

I was once so sure that woman from Idaho would have been there for me my personal Portia clit no I am married shoulder yes cry your soul out.

That is  all I needed to get heal for her to be a decent human being.

This is my shoulder cry your soul out Chris.

That is all I needed.

I wish I knew how she can be so vile and cruel.

I was talking to the nice guys I met a few days ago they are very nice people and very intelligent one suggested I see a therapist.

That is not a substitute for justice listening to a muppet parrot psychological enablers at me would do nothing for me.

The therapist I wanted was from Idaho and my therapy would have been crying my soul out on her shoulder.

Their was a time when I wanted to share the work's of Dr Keagel with her for forever and a day I knew that would never happen as she is married but if she had been a good person I could have healed by crying my soul out on her shoulder.

I have another guy that want's to fight by email this man has lived in his father's shadow all his life and is trying to have our email fight published publisher's would take his call because of who his father was.

This guy is no towering intellect but he is not as inept and obtuse as he pretends to be he is trying to push my button's to get me to fight via email.

Well part of his speil is go and get a happy pill Chris.

Happy pills what drivel.

Firstly it would cure nothing secondly lets get another problem Akathisia but lets  not worry I could take a second pill propranolol to take care of the Akathisia.

Their is only one pill I want and this is knowing that scum Elizabeth Gracen is in jail.

Their is only one thing in this world that can fix what ails my soul and that is that scum Elizabeth Gracen rotting in jail.

I would want to file an amicus brief motion to kiss the Judge that would send Gracen to jail.

I just read that Angelina "ASN"Jollie is going to Haiti what joy photo op time.

Excuse me whilst I vomit.

If people could have come together and really cared about 3 rd world issues it would have made the world a better place.

Valentine's day is almost upon us again I do not get those or Birthday's or Xmas's due to that scum Elizabeth Gracen I have not had any of those for 7 years.

I remember Valentine's day 2007 my brain short circuited I wanted to make that woman from Idaho smile I remember once sending her a postcard of a China Doll as she collect's China Dolls the postcard did nothing for her as it was not expensive it did not even warrant a thank you.

I wanted to send her something for Valentine's No idea why except my brain short circuited well if you are sending something that is encrusted with gemstones really one should have an Indianna Jones moment and mine those stones with your own hands failing that go and talk to The Orthodox Jews in Antwerp buy the stones and set them yourself.

I could not do that in 2007 however I thought I was close to getting my money back.

I found this wonderful necklace that Harry Winston in BH had in stock I wanted to buy it for her.

I contacted an old actor that is now an old man but was iconic in the 40's and 50's I wanted him to repel out of a chopper and give it to her I wanted to make her smile and she wants to make me cry.

I wish I knew how she can be so cruel and perverse.

I will try and finish this synopsis now for 4 years between 98 and 02 I schleped around the planet operating on lower brain function looking for my daughter their was no daughter she had been murdered but I was not to know that for 4 years in those 4 years I alienated every friend I had I was a walking disaster area.

All I wanted was my daughter one Xmas I was drunk in The Algonquin running around FAO Schwartz and bought 20k worth of toys to Fed Ex to my daughter the little girl that never was.

Poetker's parents were vile but I was sure they would forward the toys.

Their was no daughter but I did not find that out until one day I was sitting on a beach and Poetkers cousin called me a man called Harvey I have never met him but I would like to buy him 342 drinks.

Harvey told me their was no daughter for 4 years I had looked for my daughter I did not know that she had been murdered.

It was 2002 I jumped on a plane to Vancouver and for a few month's I hardly ever left my apartment and then one day I could see the majesty in Mother Earth once more.

I was on the phone to asst muppet's in LA trying to pull together funding for my movie

"The Merry Pranksters The Movie"

I put it out I was casting and that anybody could be in it just turn up in BC and be interesting.

Cattle Call from hell almost like casting for Annie if you were to look at the call in Back Stage it always says for Annie must have acting experience but still their are stage mother's with their charges in a line that reaches from Yonkers they think they have the next Temple.

A lot of talentless wannabe's arrived reality tv has a lot to answer for.

Some talent the movie was going to be about The Merry Pranksters The Next Generation coming together to do good in this world and 75% of BO would have gone to hungry kids in the 3 rd world.

I made friend's with this Canadian Charter Actor to this day I am angry with him he could have warned me about Gracen I am sure I would not have listened but he could have tried.

At the time I found him amusing he would trawl the bars of The West End of Vancouver and his opening volley was

"Did You Know I was In Mcguyver Can You Buy Me A Drink"

Then he would pull out a pic of himself with Mcguyver

He could have warned me I should have known from past experiences that Gracen was no good.

Another man that Gracen worked with turned up in my bar and wanted to bang lines this guy should know better he has no legs but rather than warning me he want's to do improv 101.

What a truly perverse man he knows about pain but rather than warning me he wants to do first day at R.A.D.A Lets see who can out improv who.

I am sure I would not have listened to him but he could have punched me on the nose until I did listen I could not have punched him back he has no legs.

I thought I loved Gracen hindsight is a wonderful thing I should have known from past experiences that Gracen is no good.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me for thinking I loved Gracen I use the word soul to mean a sense of self not in the christian judaic sense but something is so wrong with my soul as I once thought evil was my soul mate.

One night I pulled up outside 7 -11 on Denman St to buy a recharge voucher for my cell and that was the the start of years of hell.

Cops arrived and ran me through CPIC that being Canada's version of NCIC.

Good job they were not working under cover they would have blown it to many "Tells" they were acting strange.

I had 2 passports one American the Other British I would say one sentence with a British accent the next sentence with an American accent and the next sentence with a Mid Atlantic accent I was stoned seemed funny at the time.

The cops were going to a lot of trouble to get the immigration Canada to come and see me.

Did not make sense as I was 3 week's over and Canada does not bother American's in Canada without papers as their are more Canadian's in the US without papers than their are American's in Canada and Canada does not bother British without papers as Canada was British until 1931.

They arrested me under the Immigration act all seemed very strange but I was not worried at the time the worst they could do was to hold me overnight and in the morning a bus ride 30 miles south to The Peace Arch and a walk to Blaine the first town on the American side of the border in WA.

I was not worried I thought to myself I will be in Seattle by early afternoon and lunch at this nice cafe near Pike Market.

Canada disgusting country and to this day if anybody talks of The Ottawa Process I do not know if I should laugh cry or puke as in all of my travels.

I have never come across corruption like I came across in Canada.

I was taken to Manitoba a vile vulgar racist hick province and charged with harassment of Audrey Poetker this woman had murdered my daughter and took 350k from me.

I was waiting for Rod Serling to step out from behind a tree holding Frans Kafka's hand.

I never ever harassed Audrey Poetker the closest I ever got to Manitoba was the Drake in Chicago between 98 and 02.

I sent angry emails wanting to see my daughter.

I had no money I had 16k when I left Vancouver but this dirty cop with The RCMP stole it.

I was waiting for Gracen to turn up with a legion of attorney's that would have got The Macbeth's of on Regicide.

No sign of Gracen I was so sure that Gracen had an accident driving to fast to get to me I could accept no other reason it was not there for me in my hour of need.

The truth is much more sinister Gracen got into Clinton's ear and Clinton pulled string's and had me put in jail.

Finally I got a public defender  I did not expect to find John Jay or Attikus Finch or Joyce Davenport in MB.

However the man I got was corrupt he told me to plead guilty I would get a fine and that I would be in ND in a few days.

He said that if I did not plead guilty I would be held in custody for month's waiting for a trial.

Nice place Canada eh.

Canada has no constitution or foundation document.

It has The Canadian Charter of Freedom's but that document has no teeth is was P.E.T'S pet project.

I could file a writ of Habeas Corpus Ad Subjciendum however it would have been heard by a Manitoban court and the thought of Manitoban hicks interpreting The Magna Carta or understanding Somersett filled me with dread.

I pleaded guilty the public defender promised me I would be in North Dakota within the week.

It was so hard to say "guilty" this woman had murdered my daughter and took 350k from me.

I will finish this tomorrow unless I get lucky and die in my sleep.

I wish somebody old and wise would knock on my door and tell me why that woman from Idaho is an asshole.

If she could find just a little kindness in her heart I would be on my way to the place I need to but she never ever will she does not have a heart but a block of ice where her heart should be.

In tears again this morning that I am still alive another day of hell awaits me.

Thinking about that woman from Idaho I once thought she had the most enchanting soul on the planet.

My dream once her and I.

"Renaissance Man Seeks Renaissance Woman"

However if the truth is known she is.

      "The High Priestess Of Gehinnom"

I wish I knew why she is no good and lacks any vestige of kindness or decency.

If I knew that I cannot buy a DB9 with that knowledge that knowledge will not make Dita Von Tesse knock on my door and say.

" Ich bin sehr geil bist du auch geil mochten sie bumsen oder blasen"

I just want to know why she is no good.

I do not know if I should laugh or cry at the moment I see The Vacuous One Barrack Obama kvetching about human right's in Iran.

On a personal level I have more respect for Iran than I do for The USA as Iran has never abused my human right's or violated me.

That is in stark contrast to The USA that has abused my human right's for years and have violated me for years.

Obamma seems to need a dialectical enemy if only the human race could evolve.

On a personal level I could break bread with the prez or Iran as he has never wronged me I could not on the other hand break bread with Obamma as he has wronged me.

I say again the way The US Dept Of State has treated me is evil and perverse.

I will try and finish this synopsis I was in a court room in Canada and I pleaded guilty it was so hard saying

"Guilty"

Poetker murdered my daughter and took 350k from me.

I thought I would be in North Dakota in a few days I wondered if they have phones and toilet paper in North Dakota and maybe I would find The Cohen Brothers in a bar.

I needed to be back on my side of the 49 th and get to Arkansas Gracen's home state I was so sure that Gracen had had an accident and died I could accept no other reason that it was not there for me in my hour of need.

I was in jail because of Gracen getting into Clinton's ear but I never thought such a thing then.

Can anybody wonder why I hate Gracen?.

I had committed no crime in Canada  The Judge said 2 years the longest sentence ever passed under that section of the act.

A few weeks later I was in the jail behind a glass wall that would stop a .50 HP and Gary Doer said to me Bill say's hello.

Gary Doer was the premier of Manitoba and is currently the Canadian Ambassador To The USA a vile corrupt disgusting man.

I was to spend 16 month's in a Manitoban jail as an innocent man.

All that kept me sane was the young native kids looked after me always giving me smokes.

The criminal justice system in Manitoba is very racist and does nothing but propagate petty recidivism amongst young native kids that need love and warmth.

The way Manitoba treats young native kids is perverse.

In many ways there is a defacto apartheid in Manitoba and the province is like The American South before Brown.

16 month's of hell as an innocent man in a Manitoban jail for years I have been in touch with Canada at an Ambassadorial level hoping Ottawa may want to try and make things right with me.

That vile nation cannot bring my daughter back to life they cannot give me the 16 month's of my life they stole from me back.

No sense of guilt or shame.

Only thing I got was  a woman with C.S.I.S Canada's Mickey Mouse Intel Agency they  could not find the rest room's with GPS and maps telling me that Gracen is no good.

No Shit.

I tried to get this story out when I was in jail if Clinton was my only problem this story would have broke a long time ago as their are red neck's in the media like Rush Limbargh and Bill O'rielly that would love to kick Clinton.

However given that I have problems with Mr Celluloid Vomit Jerry Bruckheimer and he is tied up with CBS that are owned by Viacom a vile media conglomerate this was kept out of the media.

I was on hunger strike for 39 days but a hunger strike without the media is pointless.

I reached out to that vile woman from Idaho from a jail cell all she had to do was to open her mouth that is all the media could not have ignored her as she is in the public eye.

That is all she had to do was open her mouth if she had those corrupt Manitoban hick's could not have stolen 16 month's of my life from me.

That is all she had to do was to open her mouth nothing more.

That was not the end after 16 month's I thought I was going home I longed for NYC and a hick free zone.

Most Manitoban's come across like extras from Deliverance the people and the province is grim.

A few days before I thought I was going home I was told they were taking me to Australia as I had written a bad check 12 years earlier.

That again was Clinton's doing.

I could have fought it but I would have been fighting it from a jail cell.

I expected few days in jail maybe until I got to court nobody goes to jail for a bad check 12 years earlier.

I did not even write a bad check Commonwealth Bank the number 2 bank in Australia screwed up.

I arrived in Australia and was told we had a trial and you were found guilty seems the concept of a being able to offer a defense is lost on Australian's.

However they are very busy butchering the English language and talking of sexual function in the argot of 14 year old school boys and drinking beer until they vomit.

What joy Australian cultural pursuits.

The country has a collective convict mentality and I have never ever come across such a racist people.

Until 30 years ago The White Australia policy and most Australian's embrace vulgarity as an art form.

The way the Aboriginal People have been treated is nothing short of  psychological genocide.

I was to spend 11 month's in Max security jail's in Australia for writing a bad check.

What a disgusting country.

Another 11 month's of my life Gracen stole from me that redneck cracker Clinton but not pull my name out of a phone book and decide to screw with me it was done at Gracen's request.

Can anybody wonder why I despise Gracen?.

All that time in jail I was pouring my heart out to that woman from Idaho by mail all she had to do was to open her mouth and the media could not have ignored her.

Their has never been anything between this woman from Idaho and I in fact I used to hide from her what I mean by that if she turned up somewhere that I was I left I could not stand being around her without having her.

When I say having her I do not mean an afternoon in the Hotel Carter on w43rd or even an afternoon in The Pierre I mean.

                    " Do you take"

                            "I do"

I would Rather say I do to Strom Thurman now.

I knew I could never do any of that as she was married but she could have shown me kindness and helped me to heal if she had felt guilt an hour ago for screwing with my head for years I would now be sitting in the back of a cab and following the advice of Peter,Paul and Mary and going to the place I need to be to try and heal.

She will never ever feel guilt as she lacks the emotional acuity to feel guilt.

Thinking right now the only thing I would like to do on w43rd is punch out Bill Keller and I am a man of peace but Kellers perversity negates my peaceful soul.

I was released from jail in Australia after 2 years and 7 month's in jail in 2 countries stright from a jail cell in Canada to a jail cell in Australia.

Can anybody in this world wonder why I despise that evil woman Elizabeth Gracen.

I will finish this tomorrow I see how stupid this world is becoming a video game called.

                   " Dante's Inferno"

Has just been released how utterly bizarre Dante Alghieri will be spinning in his grave.

The Divine Comedy is such an amazing piece of lit and it has been reduced to a video game for kids I must be on the wrong planet as I would have thought the kids would have done better reading the book.

I remember reading it for the first time as a teenager it was so captivating I expect Virgil will have a MAC10 and Beatrice will have a Uzi in the video game version.

What a sad and perverse world we live in.

I will finish this tomorrow unless I get lucky and die in my sleep.

I wish somebody old and wise would knock on my door and tell me why that woman from Idaho is no good.

I was firing off mail all over the world from my jail cell to everybody from the ghost of Jean Vigo to known faces to try and get my daughters charity going.

I was so sure somebody would be outside the jail as I was released I so wanted it to be that woman from Idaho and she would have said stop it Chris I am married I would have tried to convince her that it is not really cheating in International Airspace under The Matrimonial Clauses Act.

I believed she would have been there for me to help me heal as she knows I would have been there for her.

My first night of freedom I was walking around Surry Hills in Sydney picking up ciggy ends and using a Gideons bible paper  to role my ciggy butts in.

I did not even have the 380 discharge grant the Australian Gov give to everybody that is discharged from jail as they "lost" the paperwork.

My first night of freedom in a Salvation Army hostel walking over sharps that the junkies have left on the floor in the rest rooms.

The next day I was told by this vile woman at the salvation army that if I did not pay them I would be thrown out in 3 days I am not sure what she wanted me to do mug a little old lady or call up De La Rue and get them to print some bank notes for me.

The Salvation Army with their pious drivel are vile and yet they have the audacity to call themselves Christian's how I wished for a pride of lion's.

Australia is such a vile nation only 3 things worth doing there punching Johnny Howard getting stoned with Skippy and engaging in a sex act with Danni Minogue that be agin the law in 3 states on the wrong side of The Mason Dixon.

After month's on the street's I finally had enough to get a ticket to Paris a ticket out of the most vulgar nation on the planet to the most cultural country on the planet France.

I had been firing off a lot of email's to people in Paris I was so sure that somebody would help me in Paris.

I arrived at CDG even the PA at CDG made me smile before they make an announcement their is this cute little jingle of chimes that sounds like Jean Michelle Jarre has been busy.

I was home my spritual home Paris the only thing missing was that woman from Idaho.

Their was a time that I wanted to marry her in Paris I knew I could never do that but I hoped to do this Vampire Flick with her.

3.12 am on the Rue Du Bac our charter's meet our charter's were lovers but we had lost each other for 100 years we "scream" at each other in mime as Plaisir D'Amour plays shoot in that scene in BW.

If Marcel Marceau had have been there he would have screamed in a Brooklyn Accent.

                     "You Go guys"

Vigeoesque like camera work I wanted old Pathe Kok 28mm chemistry wanted to try and convince Kodak or Agfa to make that for me old Pathe Kok chemistry on 5/70 film stock.

We could have done that as that is not cheating.

I once wanted her on so many levels if she had have been single decent I wanted to spent a life time in Paris with her harvesting the sonnets that are within her eyes.

None of that was to be I was to spend 2 years crying myself to sleep under bridges in Paris and begging on the street's of Paris like some wretch that escaped from a Delocroix painting.

Can anybody wonder why I hate Gracen ?

Can anybody wonder why I hate France now I was abused and violated by France for 2 years I kept hoping somebody would feel guilt and help me.

Clinton pulled strings in The Eyslee and Bruckheimer pulled string's in the French industry so I could get no help.

2 years on the street's I even had an old cop give me 100 euro and say I know you are a good guy and that you tried to do good in this world and that I would like to take you home but we have been told not to help you.

I even had the same with a guy from D.S.T that gave me 50 euro and more or less said the same.

It is bizarre the French Film Industry taking instruction's from Bruckheimer that is like the chief at Maxims taking instructions from the guy at Macdonalds.

French film used to be something to be involved in film in France you had to be able to read Cahiers Du Cinema backwards and have Andre Bazin's home phone number.

Now Cathiers Du Cinema is drivel that is owned by La Monde and Besson is making Drivel like Transporter and District 13.

People like Godard and Truffaut will be spinning in their grave to see what a basket case the French Film Industry is now.

However taking instruction's from Mr Celluloid Vomit Jerry Bruckheimer is bizarre.

I spent my first night back in Paris sleeping rough on the Rue Magenta outside the market.

I was sure somebody would arrive in the morning  hi Chris come with me.

It never ever fucking happened France stole 2 years of my fucking life from me.

Paris my Paris was no more the Paris I knew and loved in 97 was no more.

I thought of the Paris I knew and loved I remember sitting in a park in the 7eme with Poetker in 97 in the small hour's drinking Dom I asked her to marry me her reply.

Yes but I need 100k to take care of some things in Manitoba I should have ran for the hills then.

I only asked her to marry me as I could not ask the woman from Idaho to marry me.

It was November 2005 I arrived in Paris and I was to spend 2 years crying myself to sleep under bridges my living death on the street's of Paris due to that scum Elizabeth Gracen.

In the last 5 years with the exception of a few month's I have either been on the street's or in hostel's with junkies and drunks.

A lot of people I was at one time trying to pull a film together and for years I have had talentless dross that want to be actor's get in my face.

Somebody should teach them Laban with a cattle prod or buy them a bag of vowels.

It is not the amateur hour thing that got to me but their perversity.

Reality TV has so much to answer for talentless mindless dross want their Warholian 15 mins.

The moron's that want to be actors will never be actors they are deluding themselves.

Their are thing's I would like to be able to do this afternoon I would love to learn to play Chopin I would love to punch out Clinton and I would love to sleep with J Lo these thing's are not going to happen so I do not worry about them.

The moron's that have got in my face for years will never be actors but they seem to think they will.

I have also had vile dross that seem to think I am one of Pavlov's puppies get in my face.

I am so utterly overwhelmed with cruelty I long for death.

My spiritual death took place on Xmas Day 2005 as I begged on the Blvd St Germain.

I was  so very sure that woman from Idaho would find some goodness in her heart and come to my aid after all it was Xmas she could not even find goodness or kindness in her heart at Xmas.

She has no goodness inside her but that Xmas I was so sure that she would come to my aid.

The woman is vile and has no sense of decency within her their was a little old Turkish lady in her 70's that begged close to me she would always give me half of her sandwich.

The old Turkish lady said eat Chris the woman from Idaho with millions said die Chris.

I just wish I knew why she is no good.

Today is the 11th Feb and in the last 2 month's I have truly learned how truly perverse and self absorbed the human race is I have sent out over 5000 faxes looking for help to heal.

As for the media I have only 1 word scum and the person I hate the most in the media is Christiane Amanpour she should know better.

Between Clinton and Bruckheimer they have managed to keep this out of the media.

The media have in effect worked against children in the 3 rd world by killing this story they have killed children in the 3 rd world that my daughters charity would have aided.

If just one media outlet broke this story it would go global I am nobody Gracen is nobody however Gracen is sharing a bed with that low life cracker Clinton and a lot of the media know who my grandmother may or may not be.

They know one of 3 thing's.

1 Chris's grandmother was one of the most iconic actresses of the 20 century.

2 Chris is a lunatic he thinks that one of the most iconic actresses of the 20 century is his grandmother.

3 Chris made up a story that one of the most iconic actresses of the 20 century was his grandmother to garner publicity for his daughters charity.

I sent over 2000 faxes to MD'S at major teaching hospital's.

I was trying to talk to a support group for victim's of psychological torture and make no mistake about it what US Gov has done to me is psychological torture.

I wanted to talk with people that have also suffered from psychological torture not mindless box ticking therapists.

Let us susspose I was deluded and I was to fax a MD and say I am scared Elvis is chasing me with a gun the Doc could say with 99% certainty that I am deluded I say with a 99% certainty as I doubt the DOC has seen the body of Elvis.

If I was to fax an MD and say Henry The 8 th was chasing me with a gun the doc could say with 100 percent certainty that I am deluded.

However it would be real to me and I would need help.

Out of the 100's I faxed I got to replies all I wanted was pointing in the right direction to a support group.

What a perverse world we live in anybody that can ignore a human being in pain is not morally and emotionally fit to practice medicine even Quacks and Galenists would know that.

What a truly perverse world we live in.

That is it nothing left to say if anybody want's to help me do so however If I was to find kindness in this perverse world I think I would code in shock.

I no longer want to be alive.

I know something that nobody should know and that is that 99 percent of the human race are no good and are a mindless infestation on Mother Earth.

My final words ever are for the woman from Idaho.

D

"The first time I ever saw you all those years ago at that award function my soul was captivated by your soul and I wanted to embrace your soul and only your soul for a lifetime."

You have no soul no sense of goodness no sense of kindness you have a dark pool of nothingness where your soul should be the reason I was drawn to you was that my brain short circuited nothing more you are so  shallow.

When you are old and gray and alone after your husband has left you for a younger model you will wonder why you were so cruel to me.

Shame On You.

You even lack the emotional decency to say sorry to me for messing with my head for years.

Chris Hepburn

2/11/10

NB

If anybody in this world wants to leak her cell number to me please do she will hang up I expect.

I do not know if I would scream at her or weep at her I would like to try and catch her off guard and ask her why she is so fucking cruel and perverse.

I am overwhelmed with her cruelty and perversity.

I do not have the $200 to get the number from CNA.

Just email her number to me CHRIS@CHRISHEPBURN.COM

I waste my time saying this but these are the people that stole years of my life from me and have exiled me from The States they may say they were just doing what they were told but such a perverse defense did not work at Nurenburg.

I could have healed to a certain extent if I had gone home to NYC.

These people are disgusting and have violated me for years.

Steinbergjj@state.gov

Lewjj@state.gov

Burnswj@state.gov

Kennedypf@state.gov

mchaleja@state.gov

hormatsrd@state.gov

tauschere@state.gov

These people destroyed me not because I wronged them but because they were told to they were told not to let me come home.

I am not going to get drunk and weep that I am still alive I will also weep because I need to know why that woman from Idaho is an asshole.

I will also weep as in is Valentine and I have not had one of those in 7 years due to that scum Gracen.

All I want in this world is that scum Elizabeth Gracen behind bars.

Last sentence ever.

D you are disgusting and you make my skin crawl.

Chris